C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
