I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
3pm strippers are depressing
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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