He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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