You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
