Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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