I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
