My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
