Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
