just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
what the fuck happened to the tacos
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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