Say something about gay babies.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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