i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
