Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
God, I missed his penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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