yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
