it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize