Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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