its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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