I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
