he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Alive.
So much puke
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
