My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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