She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How does it feel to date your dad?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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