Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is Oprah even human
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
