Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
