I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
