all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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