omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize