Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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