Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Buhtt sex?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
