It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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