does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
