You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
