North Korea, Best Korea!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
