It's Friday. Sex?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
