We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
