before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do herpes really smell.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
