Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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