You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
