Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
