u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
