This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
