dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
