Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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