And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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