I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Holy sore nipples Batman
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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