uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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