Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
