So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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