fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
