so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
