What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
