It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
