I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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