you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
