Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
