i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
