Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize