Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
