Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
