Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
